I was a fool!

Since I dreamed a dream, which was about releasing HKCEE results in last year, I became so crazy, and crazier...just being a fool.

I predicted some people would laugh at me .

Meanwhile, I felt shame what mad behavior I had done.

Until to releasing HKCEE results in this year, I created a group in Facebook "HKCEE Release Day (with Namie Amuro)" (安室陪你會考放榜) before 4/8.

Before doing this behavior, I had thought what people would think and say negatively.
Here were some examples:

"She was just creating a Fans Club..." (她只是開歌迷會...)

"She was gonna mad exactly!" (她簡直變得瘋癲了!)

"How Low B (低B), hard-plastic (硬膠), idiot (白痴), naive (幼稚) she was..."

In general, CE candidates would not do something what is abnormal(不正常).
Only one had done foolishly. That one is me.

But in fact, other CE candidates who wasn't Namie's fans could visit my group in Facebook.

Actually I had explained what another explanation of "Amuro" (安室) was...= =

By the way, I was criticized negatively by my parents, sister.

"You're indulged in your idol madly......!" My sister said.
"You always draw something what is foolish!" My father said.

Since I had not find a job successfully, despite I had found a job which was operator(接線生).
The location of this job was Jockey Club in Tin Shui Wai (天水圍).
However, the working hours wasn't perfect for me, due to the end of working time is 11PM.
My mother didn't allow me to do this job.
As a result, not only I was punished, scolded by my father and sister frequently, I became upset during HKCEE releasing day because of getting poor results. "I have NO EYE SEE!!!" I thought.

Unfortunately, my parents often watched what website I had visited.
To name a few, Restaurant City in Facebook, Fanspace.
My sister knew who artists I liked after 1-year.

And also, all family members knew what kind of dance I had done although I danced a lot when they left home.  Usually I dance in bedroom, but I had not sing. Just moved my mouth (夾口形).
Before they were entering the bedroom, I was doing another exercise such as sit-up.
However, my sister said "She was just dancing crazily!". " Just like holding a concert imaginatively " (她當正自己正在開演唱會).
I didn't admit (承認) at all!

When I was watching a video, then I danced a lot.  I was thinking through my heart (心想) how idiot and foolish I was.
I just laughed at myself foolishly when I was dancing.
And also, I thought how poor my sing & dance performance was.
But unless I had not sung off-key (走音) when I was performing a song.
I knew I would not perform well because of my fat stature(身材), and my ugly appearance.
This would make a vision pollution (視覺污染).
If only (只要) he/she is not a fool, he/she would dislike my performance. Or someone would say more foul language at me.


However, I lose control about being a fool.