long time to see!

I had't write English version blog.
Meanwhile, I'm so busy.
So, I have to write English blog NOW!~

I feel not very happy, and not very sad.
Since I haven't buy Past < Future Tour DVD, I think it costs over $150...
As for Japanese DVD, it costs $450...= =''

What a bad news...=(

It had happened in the morning...=(

When my father left home, he had not reply to his husband before she told him.

He also hadn't drink any water and eat breakfast before leaving home.

This made us shocked. 

After my mother use to call his mobile phone, he just said "I would go to funeral home"

Then my mother started to cry. But I haven't cry.

After a while, she called "999"...(this is TOP SECRET! Confidential!)

She asked me to tidy up the whole house.

I was getting started to hide in my room since I didn't like to see somebody.

It's time to get upset. 

Moreover, I was a fool who was taking MV in my house.

However, someone knew that although I knew this was my fault.

I must stay inside the bedroom more quietly.

Fortunately, I put my own notebook inside there, and then recorded another one until a few strangers left.

After that, my mother left home.

Only me was still staying in the home.

Thus, I watched Get Myself Back MV! =)

And also other MVs such as Break It, FAST CAR, LOVE GAME, WILD, DR., Defend Love, The Meaning Of Us!!

Of course I had chatted with someone, and visited Fanspace XD! =)

Fictional Image/Ideal Journey

If I hold a mini concert tour at anyplace, I would become unrealistic (不切實際).

Only daydreaming would be happened. 

However, my father hated me, and my sister dislike me.

As for my father, he always said "You just knew how to dress up only, and just being an idiot" (剩係識得扮靚, 成個白痴妹咁...)

Since I often cry and lose my bad temper, and also always made upset atmosphere, I understood why my father hated me more.

Moreover, our relationship became poor. We talk to each other almost never. 

I love him, because he is my father. 

I hate him, because of his bad character which is unacceptable.

When I was small, I hadn't predict how bad relationship would be happened after I grew up.

However, the fact was really upset for me. 

I became "triple lost girl" (三失青年, 「失」是指快樂﹑ 學業﹑ 家庭溫暖). 
Although I had lived in my home, I wanna leave home, and then earn more money as well as having my own house. Of course I must be more successful on my academic results. 

When I was a F.2 student, I had thought that.

However, I became more unhappy after I was promoted to F.4-5 because of looking at classmates and teachers.

Especially I was forced to enter Science stream.

At that time, I hadn't any friends in my class .

Honestly, I hated the students who was study in Class A,B.

I was afraid of being bullied since I was bullied by the students in F.1 .

But I could not be unfriendly to other classmates.
After I graduated in F.5, I felt happy. 

Meanwhile, I felt unhappy.

I felt happy, because I needn't study in TMCSS since unhappy memories were memorized in my brain.

I felt unhappy, because I could not get 14 marks or above in HKCEE. I could not study HD(High diploma) in IVE.

On the other hand, I have less time to meet more good friends. 

I 'm afraid that I will become more unlucky after I study in IVE.

So I don't wanna study more and more.

I prefer being an artists who mainly sing & dance, and also compose song & lyrics!

Although I will not be popular after I become an artists. 

Not only singing and dancing well, relationship is also important to every artists. 

However, my image isn't very good when I was studying in secondary school.

Moreover, I have never learnt and join dancing club or choir.

Due to my fluent-less speaking in both Chinese and English, I'm afraid of singing any languages of pop songs although I liked listen to music.

I don't wanna sing some words which is wrong or unclear!

And I hated dancing because I was not a slim, beautiful, girl when I was a teenager.

Whether I had spent time to dance, I would not dance well.

Nobody admired me. 

My family members, classmates will think how naive I am.

I was a fool!

Since I dreamed a dream, which was about releasing HKCEE results in last year, I became so crazy, and crazier...just being a fool.

I predicted some people would laugh at me .

Meanwhile, I felt shame what mad behavior I had done.

Until to releasing HKCEE results in this year, I created a group in Facebook "HKCEE Release Day (with Namie Amuro)" (安室陪你會考放榜) before 4/8.

Before doing this behavior, I had thought what people would think and say negatively.
Here were some examples:

"She was just creating a Fans Club..." (她只是開歌迷會...)

"She was gonna mad exactly!" (她簡直變得瘋癲了!)

"How Low B (低B), hard-plastic (硬膠), idiot (白痴), naive (幼稚) she was..."

In general, CE candidates would not do something what is abnormal(不正常).
Only one had done foolishly. That one is me.

But in fact, other CE candidates who wasn't Namie's fans could visit my group in Facebook.

Actually I had explained what another explanation of "Amuro" (安室) was...= =

By the way, I was criticized negatively by my parents, sister.

"You're indulged in your idol madly......!" My sister said.
"You always draw something what is foolish!" My father said.

Since I had not find a job successfully, despite I had found a job which was operator(接線生).
The location of this job was Jockey Club in Tin Shui Wai (天水圍).
However, the working hours wasn't perfect for me, due to the end of working time is 11PM.
My mother didn't allow me to do this job.
As a result, not only I was punished, scolded by my father and sister frequently, I became upset during HKCEE releasing day because of getting poor results. "I have NO EYE SEE!!!" I thought.

Unfortunately, my parents often watched what website I had visited.
To name a few, Restaurant City in Facebook, Fanspace.
My sister knew who artists I liked after 1-year.

And also, all family members knew what kind of dance I had done although I danced a lot when they left home.  Usually I dance in bedroom, but I had not sing. Just moved my mouth (夾口形).
Before they were entering the bedroom, I was doing another exercise such as sit-up.
However, my sister said "She was just dancing crazily!". " Just like holding a concert imaginatively " (她當正自己正在開演唱會).
I didn't admit (承認) at all!

When I was watching a video, then I danced a lot.  I was thinking through my heart (心想) how idiot and foolish I was.
I just laughed at myself foolishly when I was dancing.
And also, I thought how poor my sing & dance performance was.
But unless I had not sung off-key (走音) when I was performing a song.
I knew I would not perform well because of my fat stature(身材), and my ugly appearance.
This would make a vision pollution (視覺污染).
If only (只要) he/she is not a fool, he/she would dislike my performance. Or someone would say more foul language at me.


However, I lose control about being a fool.

It's my FAULT

When I was small, I lose my temper very easily. But I didn't cry easily.
Until to now, I cry very easily. Especially looking at my parents and teachers. And also, I felt too stressful about my academic results. Although I knew being too stressful made me more upset, and I would not get higher marks on each subjects.
However, not only I could not get high marks on each subjects, I was scolded always.
My parents did not understand me.
Especially my father, he just said I was a foolish girl!
He also mentioned that I just know how to cry and lose my temper...(to be continued!)

I'm so TIRED!

I didn't go to the toilet anymore except during LUNCHTIME TODAY....

And I think I should drink less water before lunchtime...

Since I was a foolish girl, as one staff had said that I had gone to toilet more than three times before lunchtime. I just thought that I've gone to there about two times. So, I must be more smart!

However, I felt so tired when I had to work. As I drank less water, and I didn't wanna to go to toilet, I should eat more before 9am!

Sometimes I hadn't enough energy, so some colleagues worried about me. Meanwhile, I couldn't smile more. Today I had done one mistake, one colleague couldn't tolerate me. I felt sorry about it.
Although he was a nice person, we chat jokes seldom, I should do a great job. Of course I should not be lazy when he assigns job for me to do.

XDDDDD!

Namie Amuro - defend love (remix)

http://www.sendspace.com/file/l8zffq

This remix is made by me...XD^^

I hope you like it =)